Dwelling in the Wrong Places

I’m pretty bad at this. I think I’m getting a tad bit better, but I struggle with dwelling in the wrong places.

You probably know how the story goes—you’re planning an event, preparing for that speech, standing before the goal line ready to score, sitting for the exam, wanting to speak words of truth, but nothing seems to come out. You make a mistake, you mess up, or you don’t deliver. And for days, weeks, and possibly years, you replay the mistake over and over and over again. It’s the most broken of broken records.

Ruminating is the black hole that holds perfectionism. It is like a thorn, deeply embedded under the skin. It’s always there and, when prodded, reminds us that we are no good, that we don’t measure up, and that we did a lousy job.

Therein starts the dwelling: dwelling on the mistake, the should have, could have, would have. The black hole of perfectionism has swallowed us up, and we dwell on ourselves.

We can’t dwell in two places at once unless you are Saint Padre Pio and can bi-locate. For the rest of us, where we dwell has everything to do with who we choose: ourselves or God.

We have a choice. We can choose to dwell on our mistakes and ourselves, or we can learn, be humbled, move on, and choose to dwell with the Lord. When I find myself in the black hole of ruminating, I pray, go for a walk, read scripture, or listen to worship music. Finding ways to reconnect with God, and there are countless ways, will help us refocus our gaze.

Focusing on His presence, not our failures, helps us recognize opportunities for growth and see the goodness. If we get stuck dwelling on what goes wrong, we might resemble Pigpen from Snoopy, and live under a cloud, named perfectionism. And the problem with perfectionism is quite simple—nothing is perfect. Period. End of story.

Is there something you would like to leave behind so that dwelling with the Lord becomes the better place?