Obedience versus love. I must admit that 32 days ago when this desert journey began, I entered in because of obedience. When I heard the Lord ask me to write for 40 days, I immediately felt the weight of responsibility and the burden of expectation. How callous of me. Now 32 days later, I am writing because of love.
“Love bears all things…” as scripture reminds. Do I respond in love? My invitation into the desert was not met with a response of love, but rather one of compliance, after all, I am a rule follower. I am convicted, deeply.
Is it inconvenience, I’ll have to squeeze in one more to do? Is it selfishness, sleep will be less to fit this in? How can it be that these were the very thoughts I entertained? The condition of the heart, when carefully examined and exposed, will reveal the transformations needed…Lord, I am truly sorry.
As we walk together, my head bowed, I can feel the unconditional love of God. I am disappointed with myself for not responding to the Lord’s request with love, however, his love is constant and never-changing. Jesus asks me to look up at him and not the ground. I feel I have let him down. Love will come, he says. These moment are for learning. The tenderness of his words are felt and gratefulness for this revelation fill me. I breathe deeply and we keep walking.
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Yes, a great reminder that when our love for God overflows, we’ll desire to obey Him! It won’t simply be an obligation, but a joy! Thanks for this reminder today. 🙂
What a beautiful and vulnerable meditation! Vulnerability is something you rarely show. God is using this journey to open you like a lovely flower, so that the tenderness beneath your strength can be accessible to a larger audience. I love it.
You know I love you ❤️
Obedience v. Love is an ever-present struggle particularly for a perfectionist like me. Often we get to church on Sundays out of obedience, because it’s the least we can do for Jesus:-( It is so painful when I think of how my attitude of heart and that which I model for my children affects His heart. I know He is loving and forgiving but…all He wants to do is be close and pour out His grace and often I am just checking another obligation off my list~”Love will come.”